Johnny Test Porn Story: Testing 1 2 3 Testing Chapter 5

Ohayo Tokyo! Konnichiwa New York! Konban wa London! CJzilla here with another chapter! In this chapter, Susan, Mary and their dad have gone away on a mystery weekend “vacation” and they didn’t tell Johnny where they were going. It’s eating him alive! So drastic measures are taken to find out where they went!

As I crush this city beneath my feet, alls CJzilla has to roar is this: R&R! Love on me, hate on me… I don’t care.

Mystery Weekend “Vacation”

It was the halfway point in the Porkbelly School Systems Summer Vacation. The days were hot, long and full of mischief for Johnny Test and his faithful and furry best friend, Dukey. For the past month and a half Johnny and Dukey were up early, cramming as much nothing as they possibly could. From mud-bombs to romps over a cold sprinkler to pulling pranks on the neighborhood brat, Sissy, they did it all.

On this occasion Johnny and Dukey ran into their house like they were being pursued by a heat seeking missile that had rabies. Flying into the kitchen, Johnny shut the sliding glass door tightly as Dukey hid under the kitchen table. Johnnys homemaker father was busy doing dishes and nearly jumped out of his skin when Johnny dove behind him.

Johnny Test! the man held his heart with a soaking wet rubber dish glove. You scared the Bah-Jeepers outta me! Whats wrong?!

Johnny made a mental note to celebrate the successful scare later.

Dont look at me dad! the blond, spiky headed kid shushed. Just pretend that I never walked this way!

With that Johnny took cover under his fathers apron. Even though a twinge of loathing came to the mans mind, Johnnys father did just as his son told him and continued on doing dishes. But out of the corner of his eye, the man saw a large black mass move by the sliding glass window. Turning his head ever so slightly, his eyes widened at what he saw.

There was a rampaging bull!

Johnny his father paused as the bull tore up their back yard patio. Why is there a bull in our back yard? And is that the same creature from the pasture at the end of the street?

Johnny was still tucked away under his dads apron so he couldnt look the man in the eye.

Dukey and I had nothing to do with its escape, honestly! Johnny returned waving his arms. And we sure didnt feed it chili peppers! No way!

Johnnys father sighed and went back to his dishes. Hed learned throughout the past years that the fewer questions hed ask, the better his sleep was.

I cant wait for 5 tonight, the tired man sighed.

His son peeped out from behind his fathers apron.

Whats happening at 5? Johnny asked curiously.

Thats when your mother gets home and will watch you for the entire weekend while me and your sisters will take a much needed vacation, the man answered.

OooooooOooooo! Johnny awed jumping out from his dads apron. Can I come? Me and Dukey love vacations!

Dukey was suddenly at the eleven-year-olds side wagging his tail.

Johnny, I- his father was cut short.

Oh Florida! Its gotta be Florida! Johnny blurted out suddenly with a rubber alligator in his hands and Dukey had a big glass of Orange Juice. Home of the man-eating gators, monster theme parks and Orange Juice!

No, his dad shook his head.

Okay OO! It has to be Cancun! Johnny cheered, suddenly in sunglasses, shorts, sandals and a giant drink glass, along with Dukey who was in some swimming trunks. Home of Margaritaville!

No, and youre too young to know about Margaritas! his dad put his hands on his hips.

Johnny was baffled.

So if you guys arent going to Florida or Margaritaville WHY CANT I COME?! the boy bounced up and down in anger before Dukey smacked him upside the head. Sorry Why cant WE come? There. You happy Dukey?

Dukey wagged his tail and nodded.

The reason you two cant come is because the girls and I need a break from the house, Johnnys dad pulled off his apron and knelt beside his son. Therell be other times for a short weekend vacation Johnny. Next time, me and you will go Fly Fishing!

With that his dad got up and walked off. Johnny pouted.

Thats bogus, the blond boy moped. Why cant we come?

Dukey thought for a second, eyes going from the angry chili-fed bull in the back yard to Johnny.

Ill give you two guesses why we cant come, the talking dog said, holding up to fingers.

Johnny looked up and saw the bull chewing on the plastic lawn furniture.

The bull, the boy pointed out.

Theres one! Dukey cheered. Do I get a number two?!

Johnny pondered it for a second.

We did it, the boy said sadly.

AND THERES NUMBER TWO!! Dukey proclaimed, on his knees with the razzmatazz of a southern preacher. CAN I GET AN AMEN?!

Johnny sighed, put his hands in his pockets and walked after his dad.

Five oclock rolled around and his mom was home. Johnny, Dukey and his mom watched his dad, Susan and Mary move like a Marine loading squad as they packed up their car.

How come you guys wont tell me where youre going? Johnny pleaded, hanging on his dads foot.

Dont worry Johnny! his dad replied, throwing a rubber raft, scuba gear, beach ball, suntan lotion and parasols, not necessarily in that order, into the back of their family car. Well take pictures, so youll see what we see.

Johnny let go of his dads leg and laid there, face down in the grass. Susan and Mary came up to their little brother and patted the boys had.

We dont even know where were going Johnny, only dad knows where were going, Mary told her little brother.

Johnny sat up and raised a caustic eyebrow.

You dont know where youre goin but youre goin anyway? the boy asked.

Susan and Mary glanced at each other.

Anywheres better than here, with you and Dukey, Susan shrugged.

Hey! Dukey shook a fist from the front door, but then he got a weird look from Johnnys dad. Oh Woof woof woof!

Susan and Mary giggled while Johnny pouted.

Were not that bad, the blond boy mumbled.

You released a bull, Johnny, Mary narrowed her eyes. A bull! In the neighborhood. Its only a matter of time before you somehow get it into the house. And we dont want to be here when that happens.

There was a mad silence that cut through the conversation.

Cmon girls! Daylights burnin! their dad called from the car as he beeped the horn.

Coming! Susan and Mary waved. We locked our lab in ways you couldnt hope to fathom. Touch it and you die.

With that his sisters and father drove away like the house was red-hot, leaving Dukey and Johnny in a cloud of dust. Johnny moped as he watched his sisters and dad drive away like banshees.

Aw, who needs em? Dukey swatted a paw. Cmon Johnny, we have better things to do. Lets fart under our armpits or blow snot bubbles or something.

And just like that both dog and boy shuffled inside their now very, very quiet house.

Moms dinner consisted of a TV dinner followed by the tired woman falling asleep on the couch. Johnny and Dukey wandered up to their room. Their music was boring, their video games were boring, TV was boring and now, life was boring.

This stinks, Johnny complained, lying halfway on his bed, letting his head dangle off the edge. With dad gone, theres no one to yell at me and with Susan and Mary gone, our once uneventful Friday night has gotten worse.

Dukey sighed, lying on his back and starring at the posters his eleven-year-old owner hung on the ceiling.

Were pathetic, the dog voiced, vegetating.

Johnny sighed and flopped onto his back to stare up at the ceiling with Dukey.

Whats really eating me is the fact that I dont know where they went, the blond boy went on. They could have gone somewhere cool like Alaska or Panama or some other exotic land.

Or they could have gone just across town to a park or something lame like that, Dukey lifted his head off of the floor to look at his best friend.

Once again Johnny sighed.

I have to know what Im missing, the eleven-year-old grabbed a pillow and put it over his face. I bet Mary and Susan have some sort of GPS thingy in their lab and alls we have to do it get it and then well know where they are. But the labs locked.

Johnny sat up to think clearly.

Its locked and theres that little fact that your sisters will murder us if we step foot in their lab, Dukey got up and walked to his best friend and sat.

Ive never taken their death threats seriously, Johnny stated, still lost in thought. We should at least try.

The blond got up from his bed and righteously indignantly marched to his sisters lab. Dukey followed just to make sure Johnny wouldnt make a lot of noise when he got vaporized by the labs security system. But any parent and/or sibling should know that nothing, and I mean nothing, could keep a hard-headed eleven-year-old from what they want.

Just like magic, they waltzed into the lab unharmed by the seemingly impenetrable security.

Wow, Dukey voiced as he followed Johnny into the dark lab. That was easy.

Uh-huh, Johnny beamed, clapped his hands and the lights came on. But my sisters arent stupid. We couldnt have gone this far without tripping some sort of trap.

Sure enough, as the lights flicked on there was three feet of bullet-proof glass separating Johnny and Dukey from the really cool lab equipment.

Aw man! Johnny plastered his face on the glass of one of his favorite deadly scientific thingies. The Super Backpack had a GPS in it. Theres no hope for us now!

Hey! Dukey cheered, his tail wagging. Theres no glass in front of the super computer! The big computer has a GPS on it, right?

I guess it could work, Johnny walked up to the computer and pressed a button on the machine.

Suddenly bars, a concrete wall and more bullet-proof glass covered the computer. There was no way that theyd get through that. Just as they feared the worst, a brilliant idea hit Johnny.

Hey! Why not ask that Eugene kid? the blond cheered.

Dukey made a face.

That super-rich, creepy, chubby kid that has a mondo-crush on Susan? the dog scrunched his nose.

Exactly! Johnny threw his hands in the air. Eugene is so creepy, he probably has a find Susan GPS! We find Susan, we find Mary and dad and where they went!

I dunno Johnny, Dukey shook his head. Seems like over-kill to me.

They brought it on themselves, Johnny thumped his chest. And over-kill is my middle name.

Minuets later, after much digging in the phone book, Johnny and Dukey found Eugenes number. They dialed, no biggie there. Both dog and boy had their ears pressed to the telephone as it rung.

Hello? came a nasally voice of an eleven-year-old.

Hey Eugene? Johnny smiled. Its-

Its BLING-BLING BOY! yep, it was Eugene. Sheesh! Cant I get a little recognition here? Is that so much to ask?!

Johnny paused on the other line, waiting for the temper tantrum to pass.

You done? the blond questioned rolling his eyes.

Depends, Bling-Bling Boy replied. I know that you are Johnny Test calling one of your arch foes. So I ask myself, Bling-Bling Boy? Why is HE calling? And at this hour?

Johnny gave a courtesy pause.

Done? he questioned, rolling his eyes again.

For the moment Bling-Bling Boy replied cautiously.

Awkward pause.

WELL?! Spit it out! Or did you just call so that I can listen to your disgusting breathing?! the rich portly kid blasted.

I would if I could without you throwing in a pointless rant every other word! Johnny returned.

Fine, fine, Bling-Bling Boy spat. Ill stay quiet

Johnny sighed, looking at his dog.

Listen, Bling-Bling Boy, the blond began. I need to know where my sisters and father are. And since you like Susan a LOT, youre creepy enough to know her every position-

I am not creepy! Bling-Bling Boy fumed.

ARE YOU GONNA LET HIM FINISH OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR YELLIN ALL NIGHT?! Dukey yelled, yanking the phone out of Johnnys hand.

There was a pause on the other line.

Who was that? Bling-Bling Boy asked, now confused.

Johnny yanked back the phone from Dukey.

You remember Dukey? My talking dog? the blond replied.

Oh, OH! Yes, I remember he posed as your sister that one night I stole the Super Backpack- the rich villain was rambling.

Lets not bring that up! the dog pleaded falling to the floor, not enjoying the memory of giving a dog kiss to the rich eleven-year-old. I didnt enjoy it and Eugene didnt enjoy it-

BLING-BLING BOY! the villain blasted again.

Will you two just zip it?! Johnny slapped his forehead. Bling-Bling Boy, my sisters and dad went somewhere and I wanna know where. Can you get a fix on their position?

Wheres Susan?! Bling-Bling Boy gasped. Is she hurt?! Cause if she is-!

No ones hurt or in trouble, Johnny told the easily excitable preteen villain. They took off on a weekend vacation without me and Dukey and I want to know exactly where they went so I know what were missing!

Pause from the other line.

Man, Bling-Bling Boy voiced. Youre pathetic.

Says the creepy eleven-year-old with a GPS on my teenage sister! Johnny shot back.

Touch, the preteen villain returned. Okay Im on my computer and pulling up my Susan positioning system or SPS for short

Dukey and Johnny cringed. Yep. Bling-Bling Boy was creepy like that.

Ah! I got a reading! the rich villain cheered.

Johnny and Dukey smiled and waited for more information.

Gathering information from the satellite Bling-Bling Boy paused. Configuring All right theyre in southwest Montana Near a little town called Virginia City?

Johnny and Dukey starred at each other.

Montana? both questioned together.

What in the heck are they doing way up there? Johnny asked anyone who had an answer.

Well, Montanas known for its national parks, thick forests and camping Dukey returned.

The dog and blond blinked at each other.

Did dad just drag Susan and Mary camping? Johnny made a face.

Sure, either that or they got wicked lost, Dukey pointed out, shrugging.

Camping? Bling-Bling Boy heard every word on the other telephone line. Thats weird.

They wouldnt last five minuets, Johnny voiced. We gotta get up there!

Youre not so much interested in your sisters and dads safety but for the fact that were bored out of our skulls, right? Dukey voiced, tapping his head.

DUH! Johnny replied like his dog was stupid. Ive had some boring Friday nights, but this is the worst! TO MONTANA!

Hey! Bling-Bling Boy yelled just before Johnny set the phone down on its receiver. Im coming too! I found them and its only fair that I come too!

Dukey and Johnny sighed loudly.

Do you have to? the blond eleven-year-old groaned.

Yes! Bling-Bling Boy returned. AND, Ive got a jet. I bet we can get there faster than by bicycle, Test!

A jet? Cool!

All right, you can come, Johnny relented. But just because you have a jet and we dont.

This was far from the weekend vacation Susan and Mary had in mind. They were shivering, huddled around a small fire their dad had finally managed to light up. The Montana forest was dark and uninviting and they were pretty sure they saw a raccoon the size of a pony. The two super-geniuses were not looking forward to a night in a tent in a dense forest.

Nothing like fresh forest air, huh girls? their dad was actually enjoying everything.

Why couldnt we have gone to the beach? Or somewhere close to home? Susan complained. Even another weekend with Johnny and Dukey wouldnt be as bad as this!

The two twin teens gave their father the stink eye.

Cmon girls! their dad cheered. You gotta get outta that lab once in a while and smell the flowers!

Dad, Mary returned. There are no flowers out here. There nothing but pine trees, dirt and bears. I want to go back to civilization.

Were not going back, their dad set his foot down. The only way we will get any civilization for the next two days is if it drops out of the sky.

Just then they heard a roar of twin jet turbines. Looking into the night sky they saw a gold-plated jet come into view, out of which came down four huge crates, followed by two eleven-year-olds and a dog.

Johnny? Susan, Mary and their dad gasped.

First the crated crashed to the ground and on impact they exploded, spewing fancy, high-tech camping gear, including bigger fire. Then the two boys and dog parachuted into the camp, the canopies of their parachutes covering the two girls and man.

Hi guys! Johnny cheered. You miss us?!

Bark! Dukey barked so as not to surprise Johnnys dad.

What in the heck are you, Dukey and that Eugene kid doing here?! Johnnys dad flailed his arms in the air.

Bling-Bling Boy! Eugene declared.

We figured you all could need some help goofing off, so we brought everything every good camper needs to rough it out in the wild! Johnny cheered, hugging his dad.

All right Johnnys dad paused. But what about your mother? She doesnt know youre gone does she?

Eh, we left her a note, Johnny answered. I said that we went camping with you and the girls and that we brought clean underwear.

I never thought Id be happy to see Johnny, Dukey and (sigh) Bling-Bling Boy, Susan said happily.

YOU REMEMBERED! Bling-Bling Boy cheered, now hugging his mega-crush.

Susan tried prying off the affectionate and creepy eleven-year-old from her body as the rest of the family laughed. Thus began a great Test family weekend vacation in the wilds of southwestern Montana.

R&R! LONG LIVE ROCK!